We are reading books, listening to podcasts. and connecting with people from all aspects of adoption. Our intention to is to learn as many perspectives through other’s adoption journey from infancy to adulthood. This list will grow and change as we continue learning.

When discussing our children, us as adoptive parents, and our birth family members, please use this language as an ally of our family:

• Use “placed for adoption” or “made an adoption plan” vs. give up, adopt out, put up for

• Use “expectant parent”, “birth parent”, or “first parent” vs. real or natural

• Use “placement day” vs. gotcha day

• Adoption is not charity, or a rescuing, it is parenting and a way of a family joining. Adoptive parents are not saviors.

• Language such as the child has been “saved, rescued, “lucky” or anything suggesting a comparison of birth families being “bad” and our adoptive family being “good” are not appropriate.

• Open, Semi-Open, and Closed are classifications or describing communication and engagement between birth families, adoptive families, and adoptees. The birth mother decides initially what classification she is comfortable with.

• It is preferred for the adoption to be “open” or “semi-open” to best nurture the child’s development and sense of belonging.

• It is our duty as parents, friends of family, and within our family to ensure our child dictates their “adoption” story and not for it to be defined for them.

• More to come!